providence

how do you react with crisis strikes?
i have come to define crisis as the sudden lack of control.

the cheque that the bank has issued to me as the maturity of a 5 year savings scheme has yet to be found. my mom misplaced it.

worst case scenario - my 5 years of savings is lost. the money is supposed to be used for expenses in melbourne.

what then?

there are other ways of looking at it. it is just money, a large sum no less, but its not like i lost a limb in a motor accident. what is this amount of money to God? is the value of my life and its direction pegged on the numerals on the cheque? i don't think so.

on the other side of the coin - do i not feel a pinch in the least? i was definitely annoyed when my mom called to ask me where the cheque was.

a while ago when i was thinking about my expenses in melbourne, i contemplated to cease tithing to my friend in full time ministy, (i tithe to her work in place of contributing to the offering bag in church) after all, don't i need the money for myself? $50 is giro-ed monthly to her bank account, that amounts to $1200 over 2 years. i could always set aside my year end bonus to this cause. and besides, i count this luxury of studying overseas a blessing, so i do not have a reason to stop blessing others.

however, God provided for this tithing - i was given $1000 for being voted the recipient for the individual outstanding contribution award. i can view this award as hard earned money which i am rightfully entitled to, or can i chose to view it as God's providence for the specific purpose.

honestly, i feel that i have already made it in life. the assurance i have in God, the confidence i have in daily living, the value system imbued in me are my yard sticks of success. anything i do henceforth are retirement pet projects.

an even worst case scenario - my plans for overseas studies has to be shelved because i have no budget for it.

so be it.