pilgrim's progress

He Will Do It

2008-03-11T09:52:00.004+08:00

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten - the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm - My great army that I sent among you. - Joel 2:25

There are seasons in our lives that involve times of famine and times of restoration. Solomon tells us that He has made everything beautiful in its time and that there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven. (See Ecclesiastes 3:1,11.)

God brings about both the good and the bad. The seasons of famine have a divine purpose in our lives. They accomplish things that only these hard places can accomplish. But there is a time when those hard places have accomplished their purpose and He begins to restore. God did this with the nation of Israel after a season of famine and devastation.

God wants each of us to know that there is a time when He will restore in order to demonstrate His gracious hand in our lives. He is a loving Father who tenderly guides His children through the difficult places. If God has taken you through a time of leanness, know that He is the restorer of that which the locusts have eaten. Wait patiently for Him to bring this about in your life. He will do it.

by Os Hillman

"I will repay you" sprung at up me like a jack in the box because at this point of time, I really do feel that I need to be "reimbursed" for the lack of sleep, for the worry worn days and in more literal term - for my back pay.

I'm not sure how exactly how I will be "repaid," and I don't want to place my demands on God. However, in my collective past experience with seasons of suffering, I can trust that even right now, God is actively doing something like he always does.

In the meantime, I've been blessed in little ways that are easy to overlook.

I have a very supportive faith community that is constantly praying for me "behind my back."

I have a very reassuring boyfriend that reminds me of how unnecessarily hard I'm being on myself and that I'm not as inadequate that I think I am.

I have in the staffroom, an informal support group that watches out for each other and stands in the gap when we fall. Some of the colleagues have over time become dear friends.

I have a great cabpool that gets me to school in the shortest time possible at the cheapest rate possible, if not for which I would have to wake up even earlier than 5.30am each morning.

The classes I'm given are considerably the more manageable ones, some of which are pockets of haven I can retreat to between tough periods.

3 out of my 10 teaching groups will be taken over by a trainee teacher for the whole of Term 2, something that will never happen to other new-ish teachers.

Within 1 term, I've somehow gained the favor of my superiors who regard me as dependable and competent, more so than others. The benefit of which is that they will cut me some slack when it comes to the nitty gritty and would generally trust me to my own devices.

On the home front, my family has also given me a lot of space. The very understanding sister has extended the grace period for me to squat at her place till I (cross-fingers) find my own by the time the "lease" ends.

In the meantime, I shall unpack the abstract concepts of, "claiming the promises of God" and "abiding in Him" by reminding myself of these 2 verses each morning:

Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Matthew 6: 34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

by-products

2007-12-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

i wanted to highlight an extract from today's TGIF devotional, but since it needs some context, i've reproduced it wholesale.

I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:10-11 - Acts 21:11-12

Paul understood his personal mission, which should be the personal mission of every believer in Jesus Christ. It is the one summary statement that best describes the purpose of our existence on earth and the goal of our Christian experience. It can be reduced to three important characteristics.

To know Christ.

To know and experience His power.

To identify with His sufferings.

All that flows from these three objectives becomes a by-product. Salvation is a by-product. Miracles are a by-product. Christlikeness is a by-product. Paul's focus was on relationship. He understood that the deeper the relationship, the more power he would experience. He also understood that as he grew in this relationship, there would be suffering. Whenever the Kingdom of Light confronts the kingdom of darkness, there is a battle, and this often results in casualties. Christ confronted these earthly kingdoms and suffered for it. If we are living at this level of obedience, we, too, will face similar battles; it simply comes with the territory.

Does this sound like your personal mission statement? Is your focus in life centered on knowing Christ and the power of His resurrection? If not, press into Him today in order to begin experiencing Christ more intimately.

i think that to say that salvation and miracles aka blessings are the by-product and not the be all and end all of christianity is quite radical because i often come across christians in their zealousness no less, who hinge their entire faith on salvation or the lack of. subsequently their concerns becomes engulfed by the "mechanics" of salvation and measures to ensure its surety.

while salvation is an important aspect of christianity, i feel that it is also the aspect we shouldn't obsesses about. if we lead our christian lives for the sole purpose of obtaining salvation and are constantly checking our "score sheet" for admittance then we'll be missing the point of the relationship with Christ. why bother knowing Christ if we can simply play by the rules to attain salvation? this also implies that i'm not a fan of the hell and brimstone theology where essentially heaven is offered as the lesser evil to hell.

i suppose for some its an added incentive to embrace the faith. but for me the relationship with God is the cornerstone of my faith and meeting the maker at the of it is simply having the faith that the friend/brother/father/someone you've grown to know and trust will fulfill the appointment with you at the end of the day.

Special Callings

2007-12-03T10:20:00.001+08:00

Calling goes beyond our work and includes our relationships to others: our wives, our children, our neighbors-and our coworkers. We must remember this in order that our "work calling" does not become elevated at the expense of the other important aspects of our lives. This is the holistic approach to the gospel in which God made all of life equally important.

Therefore, the next time someone says, "I was called into the ministry" or "I am in full-time Christian work," stop and tell him or her that we are ALL in full-time Christian work. There is no secular and religious in the economy of God. I have a dear friend who often says, "I am a servant of the living God masquerading as a dentist." So, too, are you first a servant of the living God.

the above excerpt is from today's issue of TGIF's daily devotional. it drives home the point that having a relationship with God as the core of our activities and intentions, we're already called into service no matter what field of work we're involved in.

sometimes we need to weigh our options and discern our direction in life accordingly to ordained purposes. for me the opposite happened; i had doors closed to me, options narrowed and sometimes not given a choice at all as to where i wanted to take my career. i fought and struggled internally and questioned God's wisdom. it wasn't a matter of wondering where God was in times of suffering, but being aware of God's presence and therefore feeling bitter at the turn of events.

however, as the events unfolded, i found myself stronger, more resilient and above all more skilled in areas that i never knew i could manage. in hindsight, it felt like bootcamp. but i emerged all the better for it.

towards the end of my stint in melbourne i prayed about my new posting. however rather than my prayer for my very first posting five and a half years ago (wow....has it been that long?) that went, "please dear God, please do not send to me XX primary school. i had a very bad experience there during attachment and would never want to go there again. rather, i've appealed to the principal of YY primary school, so let me be posted there because serving at the alma mater would be mutually beneficial, right?" the prayer for the coming posting went, "dear God, you see all, you are already there. ministry doesn't really do the posting, but you are in charge of my posting. i know that wherever you post me is where i will work best, not for my comfort, but for the benefit of those i will come in contact with."

in due time, i received my new posting at ZZ secondary school. i will be teaching subjects that i'm passionate about (history and literature) and relived of subjects that i absolutely hate (mathematics and science), so that's something to rejoice about. however, i've also been warned of the notoriety of the school and i'm bracing myself for the bumpy ride ahead.

finding rhythm in life

2007-11-28T08:32:00.000+08:00

the small group has embarked on a life at work series as our bible study material. it is material catered for full time working christians who face similar challenges in their walk with with God.

yesterday's topic was finding rhythm in life. rhythm is a biblical concept, God created rhythm and has ordained us to live by a rhythm. i think the task at hand is to assess if we've included into this rhythm a Godly impetus, or better yet, have our rhythm anchored upon tangible Godly activities (devotional time, sunday church, weekly bible study etc) in the formation of an equilibrium in life.

every now and then (or sometimes more often than we wish), life throw us a curve ball and gets us out of sync with this rhythm. it could be a change in life direction, or as simple as falling ill. however even in those times, there should be somethings that remain constant so that everything else revolves around this core.

the individual challenge is to ascertain what elements constitutes this core and if God radiates from this core.

i will have to adjust to a whole new rhythm when i start my new job. i will have to cut back on certain activities (at the moment it consist quite a bit of swimming and running, watching tv, meeting up with friends at lunch time) and start putting in hours, or at the crux of the matter; re-channeling my energy for different purposes.

however, the things i have identified to keep constant while finding the new impending equilibrium includes (in no particular order: i.e. concentric rather than hierarchical) would be devotional time, church service, weekly small group gatherings, exercise and time with the geek.
i observe that we don't usually need to factor time for work because we find that work is a given, but more crucially, because we feel accountable to the job we are responsible for. therefore the key is to also be accountable to the other areas of life that we identify to be non-negotiable.

it was mentioned during last night's discussion that activities such as sunday service forms the background/backbone music in our lives like the tempo in a score. there non-negotiables would then form the bass notes in this score of life that sets the tone and pace. even in times of improvision (musical or otherwise), the basic tempo that keeps us in sync in still there, holding it all together.

go-getter

2007-10-17T08:40:00.000+08:00

people who are close to me can attest that i'm quite the go/goal-getter. once i set my mind on something, chances are i can achieve it with some determination and encouragement

i put that kind of single-mindedness on my assignments and when i'm focused, nothing else gets in the way. perhaps same too with the boyfriend, although we've been physically apart for about 2 years now, the distance doesn't seem all that far because we take time out to chat on the webcam for easily two plus hours at night for several nights a week.

but for the past few months after having left my ministry together with a more intense period of accountability, i've found myself slacking in that department with the excuse of, oh-i-need-to-take-a-break.

over time, this spiritual blog has experienced a hiatus, perhaps its also an indication of my spiritual life.

there are various roles we have to play in life and with each role come its own set of responsibilities and measure of success.

i'm currently a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a student, a child of God, and soon a teacher.

if there are key performance indicators for each of the job holder, my assessment will rank quite highly and maybe equally highly as a student, sister and girlfriend because i know that i've put in effort in these areas and have reaped the benefits in terms of grades and the development of mature, healthy relationships respectively.

my responsibility as a daughter isn't very prominent at the moment because my parents are still able to support themselves and are fully engaged in their own agendas, plus there is the older sister to provide support when its needed and the niece to be "babied" by them.

my role has a child/follower of God however has been stagnant, if not languishing in comparison probably because ironically, things have been going great for me.

i've slacked off in quiet time and sometimes even church going.

i attended church this sunday because i ran out of excuses not to and also because i had a friend who was attending with me and i'm glad i did. the sermon was simple in a oh-i've-heard-all-that-before way. but there were some fundamentals that struck home.

1) "The acronym for BIBLE is: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth."

2) "Doing God' work can be inconvenient at times, but I tell you what is also inconvenient: being nailed to the cross is inconvenient."

therefore with this renewed reminder, i'm going to include with my targets the discipline to set aside time for God and go-get the benefits of enjoying such a privilege.

herbal chicken soup for the soul

2007-08-27T14:14:00.000+08:00

i don't cook nowadays, and i don't stock up much provisions either, and i'm even less conscientious of what i (don't) have when i'm deeply engrossed in composing my essay.

so just when i thought that i might have to go without dinner last night, my housemate knocks on the door and tells me she has left me double boiled herbal chicken soup on the stove. woohoo! and it was really good.

i felt so loved, blessed and taken care of. God provides.

Matthew 6:25-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

does good need evil?

2007-08-15T12:43:00.000+08:00

although i am studying a wide range to subjects, they tend to overlap in terms of critical theories. a few weeks ago, i first came across the Manichean (pronounced as many-ki-ian) allegory in the postcolonial literature where the dichotomy is drawn between the colonizer and the colonized others.

i came across it again in a medieval studies subject in the context of the religion itself, Manichaeism, where St Augustine was as a former follower of Mani.

then i recalled that when i was younger, i have in fact stumbled upon the doctrine of Manichaeism just that i didn't know that it was called as such. i came across the concept in Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett. it depicts a comic view of judgement day with the anti-christ as the protagonist. the anti-christ however, has the most anti-climatic aura.

the disturbing under current of the story however is that as the Manichean concepts goes, Christ/the heavens/God needs the Lucifer/hell/the devil in other to create "a balance in the force" so to speak. in order for God's redemptive plan to come to fruition, the input of Judas, and the persecuting Jews and the "bad guys" were required. its like how without criminals, the police force will cease to exist.

i could see the point of such a critique but i was unable to formulate a counter argument, that is until i read St Augustine's collection of writings in City of God. having had been a Manichean himself, St Augustine was well versed with its mechanics.

in a nutshell, St Augustine asserts that "good may exist on its own, but evil cannot." such a statement does away with the good/evil dichotomy, and the alleged interdependence of good and evil to put each other in place.

in the follow up to his assertion, St Augustine elucidates that,

"the very fact that perversions are perversions is a proof that such natures are in themselves good; if they were not good these faults would not harm them...If there is no good there at all, there is nothing for perversion to destroy; and if no harm can be done, there can be no perversion. The conclusion is that although a fault cannot hurt unchangeable good, it cannot hurt anything except a good of something, since it only exists where it does harm. It may be put in this way: a fault cannot exist in the Highest Good, but it cannot exist except in some kind of good."

quotes within the parenthesis comes from: St Augustine. The City of God. England: Penguin Books, 1972, p. 474

St Augustine on Suffering

2007-08-01T10:45:00.000+08:00

This being so, when the good and the wicked suffer alike, the identity of their sufferings does not mean that there is no difference between them. Though the sufferings are the same, the sufferers remain different...Thus the wicked, under pressure of affliction, execrate God and blaspheme; the good, in the same affliction, offer up prayers and praises. This shows that what matters in the nature of the sufferer, not the nature of the suffering. Stir a cesspit, and a foul stench arises, stir a perfume, and a delightful fragrance ascends. But the movement is identical.

St Augustine - City of God, Book 1, Chapter 8.

For the Art, Ideology & Doctrine (400-1000) subject, I have to comb through ancient manuscripts and literature from the early medieval period. This subject is not a study of theology per se; it just happens that Christian art, literature and mores pervaded the medieval period when it filled the vacuum that the Roman Empire left in its wake after its demise.

Like what the lecturers said, there is no avoiding Christianity when examining the medieval period.

Still from Christian point of view, I research this material with Godly reverence that others would normally regard with sheer intellectual detachment.

Art, Ideology and Doctrine

2007-07-11T08:42:00.000+08:00

As it turns out, I will yet again be delving into theology for an upcoming module. This time, its in the English department.

Art, Ideology and Doctrine 400 - 1000
The subject will examine artistic developments in the context of a Christian intellectual, philosophical and theological framework, while at the same time focusing on the implementation and adaptation of late Classical and native European stylistic traditions to emergent Christian art. Each week the lecture will focus on an ideological or doctrinal issue, or on an interpretative strategy, and the related tutorial will examine how these work themselves out in the artistic tradition. The issues focussed on will include: the fourfold system of interpretation; Typology; Creation; Angelology; the Incarnation; the Virgin Birth; Redemption; the Harrowing of Hell; Primogeniture; Paradise; the Resurrection; Time and Eternity; the Trinity; the Exodus; the Flood; and the Fall and Atonement; Sin and Evil, other similar related issues will also be considered.

The primary text for this module, City of God, is bible-length article written by St Augustine as bishop of Hippo in the fourth century. Hopefully, my research in Early Christian and Byzantine Art will provide me a background for this endeavor.

Icons Update 2

2007-07-11T08:33:00.000+08:00

Yippey! I scored a H1 for this question. H1 by the way, is the highest obtainable grade.

At the end of this module, I did gain a deeper understanding of the presently raging iconoclastic controversy that has its roots in the byzantine period. personally, i feel that both the iconoclast and the iconodules (pro icons) have valid points and that the closure of the controversy does not reflect a victory of ideals but simply a successful political maneuver in support for the iconodules at a point of time in history.

No wonder the deep seated resentment against icons and physical manifestations for veneration are not truly resolved, and perhaps never will.

Appearances matter

2007-05-25T14:42:00.000+08:00

The identification of Christianity with whiteness if perhaps most clearly illustrated in the tradition of Western pictorial representation of Christ himself. As Dyer writes: "The gentilizing and whitening of Christ was achieved by the end of the Renaissance and by the nineteenth century the image of as not just fair-skinned and blond and blue-eyed was fully in place."

Plasa, Cark. Textual Politics from Slavery to Postcolonialism, Great Britain: Macmillian Press Ltd, 200, p. 25

Appearances matter, nothing is ever neutral. Having somewhat a postcolonialist streak in me, I am inclined to take the side that the projection of colour and images are heavily loaded signifiers that are complicit with Imperialism and misguided Enlightenment principles.

Another reason why I am not comfortable with religious imagery.

Icon Update

2007-05-09T17:21:00.000+08:00

i'm almost half way done with my icons questions.

in all objectivity, i have to admit that the iconophiles have a more compelling argument against the iconoclast.

however, i'll personally still rather skip the veneration of all sorts and worship God without a mediating factor.

did you know?

2007-05-08T07:30:00.000+08:00

The Church does not reject particularities connected with human nature or with time and place... but santifies their content, filling it with new meaning. In their turn, these particularities do not interfere with the unity of the Church, but bring into it new forms of expression, peculiar to them. In this way, it realises that unity in mutiplicity and richness in unity, which both in totality and in details expresses the catholic principle of the Church.
Ouspensky and Lossky 1983: Leonid Ouspensky, ‘The Meaning and Language of Icons’ in The Meaning of Icons, USA: St. Valdimir’s Seminary Press, 1983, pp. 28.

did you know that the Catholic Church originated with an ecumenical orientation, since "Catholic" does mean "Universal"? The present Catholic Church seems to have an obsession with claiming its legitimacy from the first instance of Christianity with Peter installed as the first Pope. however, did you also know that the first churches were established with the political bearing of Constantine the Great and this successors at the ecumenical councils? and there after, every council was referred to as ecumenical?

interesting findings from my research on iconoclasm.

Icons and Iconoclasm

2007-04-18T14:23:00.000+08:00

Debates about the significance and meaning of religious images were present in Judaism and in the earliest period of Christian art, a particular challenge being the ability to define the precise relationship between images and their Divine model or prototype. How was this challenge, and the earlier debates about the role of images in Christianity, presented and contested during the Iconoclastic controversy? (2500 words)

I'm done with all the minor essays of this module, time to tackle the big one. I've already combed the library for material. I might post my entire essay here after this semseter. I have a personal stake in this question.

Image Making

2007-04-16T08:54:00.000+08:00

I am a Gentile for Christ

2007-04-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

this might come across as radical, or not.

Protestantism stemmed from Catholicism in the same way which Christianity (both Protestantism and Catholicism) stemmed from Judaism.

"Christianity" as a terminology is not found in the bible. the disciples were called christians first at antioch (acts 11:26). however prior to that, early Christians did not call themselves Christians, but Jews who acknowledge and received the messiah. in fact, the pioneer believers in Christ such as the apostles who were Jewish continued to meet at the synagogue as a display of their Jewish identity. (acts 2:46)

therefore to settle the raging disputes between the protestant and catholic identity, i propose that we debunk all this labeling and pigeon-holing and call ourselves Jews/gentiles for Christ.

however, in my research for an essay, i came across an article that evoked in me a revelation why in our present cocoon, we rather stay that way.

In 1925 Pope Pius XI organized a missionary exhibition to applaud missionary work in the non-western world. About 100 000 items were sent to the exhibition and only half were returned. The remaining items were subsequently placed in the new Vatican museum, which opened in Rome in 1927. The museum according to the Pope, demonstrated that the 'dawn of faith...illuminated pagan Rome' (Greenfield 1989:10). Included among the 1925 exhibits were cultural property from Papua New Guinea and over 200 Aboriginal materials that were sent by missionaries in Australia. The Vatican's portrayal of indigenous cultures as heathens was a justification for imposing Christianity on indigenous populations.

Smallcomb, Sonia, On display for its Aesthetic Beauty: How Western Institutions Fabricate Knowledge about Aboriginal Cultural Heritage, Political Theory and the Rights of Indigenous Peoples, ed. Duncan Ivison, et al, Cambridge University press, 2000, pp. 153

in our present political and cultural sensitivities, we recognise that the certain ways, certain persons representing the Church made some wrong calls, from the above example, to the selling of indulgences to build the St Peter's Basilica to the complex and dubious hullabaloo of the crusades.

admist all the spewing of words and verbosity, sorry seems to be the hardest word for some. the alternative is to distance yourself from the mistakes and say that you were never a part of it.

it dawned on me that as a protestant, this is a reason why i rather remain a protestant. because in this way, i can claim that by ascribing to the exposure of the list of abuses of the catholic church that martin luther made plain, i can say that i and all the other protestants have no share in those areas where the church fell from grace. i found myself thinking along those lines when i read the above excerpt. as a protestant, "the pope" does not connote the most positive image in any case.

it is always easier to point fingers then suffer and learn painful lessons together. of course this is in no way summing up the reformation, neither am i weighing the pros and the cons of the protestant break away.

going back to the original point, and to the original point in time, i believe the believers in Christ had more clarity about their belief because it was a matter of life and death. in fact, the nicece creed as we know it was formulated only 300 years after Christ, what doctrine did those Christians hold on to over 3 centuries of persecution?

at gun point, a believer is not going to expound on theological discrepancies or denominational preferences. when your life is at stake under persecution like the first believers in Christ, stripped of all theological baggage, who will you say you are?

faith is not blind

2007-04-02T05:36:00.000+08:00

because of the my demanding work load, i've been using Os Hillman's TGIF - Today God Is First as a daily devotional instead of My Daily Walk. this switch is temporary and will persist till the end of semester.

today's TGIF passage is something that i've pondered about but from a different perspective.

And Elisha prayed, "O Lord, open his eyes so he may see." Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. As the enemy came down toward him, Elisha prayed to the Lord, "Strike these people with blindness." So He struck them with blindness, as Elisha had asked
(2 Kings 6:17-18).

i've blogged about the passage in terms of spiritual warfare. TGIF's take on it is to challenge us to pray for God to open our eyes so that we can see God working in our situations, especially in dire ones.

From this perspective, faith lies at the crux of the matter. i think because of john 20:29 (then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.") many christians underplay the tangibility of faith.

from my personal experiences i believe that when we seek God, he will reveal himself and his work in our lives in palpable ways. No doubt that God is spiritual and there a lot of spiritual things that are unrevealed to us, but God is also always working and ready to work in our physical world.

Like elisha and his servant, their faith enabled them to see, their faith was not in the least blind.

The Crucifix and the Cross

2007-03-30T15:55:00.000+08:00

NEW YORK - The Easter season unveiling of a milk chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ, dubbed 'My Sweet Lord' by its creator, left a sour taste in the mouths of a Catholic group infuriated by the anatomically correct confection.
'This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever,' said Mr Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Catholic League, on Thursday. 'It's not just the ugliness of the portrayal, but the timing - to choose Holy Week is astounding.'
The 1.8-metre sculpture by artist Cosimo Cavallaro was to debut on Monday evening, the day after Palm Sunday and just four days before Roman Catholics mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. The final day of the exhibit at the Lab Gallery inside midtown Manhattan's Roger Smith Hotel was planned for Easter Sunday.
'The fact that they chose Holy Week shows this is calculated, and the timing is deliberate,' said Mr Donohue, whose group represents 350,000 Catholics nationwide. He called for an economic boycott of the hotel, which he described as 'already morally bankrupt.'
The gallery's creative director, Mr Matt Semler, said the Lab and the hotel were overrun with angry telephone calls and e-mails about the exhibit. Although he described Mr Donohue's response as 'a Catholic fatwa,' Mr Semler said the gallery was considering its options amid the criticism.
'We're obviously surprised by the overwhelming response and offence people have taken,' said Mr Semler, adding that the Holy Week timing was an unfortunate coincidence. 'We are certainly in the process of trying to figure out what we're going to do next.'
The artwork was created from more than 90kg of milk chocolate, and it features Christ with his arms outstretched as if on an invisible cross. Unlike the typical religious portrayal of Christ, the Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth.
Mr Cavallaro, who was raised in Canada and Italy, is best known for his quirky work with food as art: Past efforts include repainting a Manhattan hotel room in melted mozzarella, spraying 5 tonnes of pepper jack cheese on a Wyoming home and festooning a four-poster bed with 142kg of processed ham. -- AP

The article that I came across today reminded me of the discussion of Christian iconography I had in class.

Party because of my protestant upbringing, I've never been comfortable with the image of the crucifix. The holy image in a protestant church is simply the Cross, sans dying body impaled in it. I suppose the point it makes is that Jesus has resurrected from the dead, his body should no longer be the focus.

Being trained in art history, I can appreciate the debate around the depiction of the cruxifiction better. The Catholic depiction of the dying body is tied up with the emphasis on the humanity and therefore suffering of Jesus which people are supposed to identify with and contemplate upon.

However, because I consider myself an artist in my own right, I am not comfortable with how other artists depict Christ. In the history of Christian iconography, the image of Jesus has dramatically changed.

In the lands were Neo-Attic conservationism rules, as in Greece and Asia Minor, Christ was a youth with long black hair falling on his shoulders (frontispiece), after a pattern of hero or divinity that harks back to Attic idealizations such as the Praxitelean Eubouleus, revived in the second century A.D. to impersonate Hadrian’s deified favorite Antinous. Where the progressive “Alexandrian” style prevailed, as in Egypt and Italy, Christ was first conceived in the form of a youthful Hermes with short curly hair. Later, in Syria and Palestine, arose the oriental ideal, the bearded head that became at last the norm for all the Christian world.

Morey, Charles Rufus. Early Christian Art. USA: Princeton University Press, 1953, p. 64

The image of Christ is never neutral, but culturally biased and is in fact fluid. However, the progression in which the portrayal of Jesus and the Crucifix took place does not reflect an ever-changing God, but his ever-changing followers.

The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel by Mitchell Merback documents pain and the spectable of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance Europe. My interpretation of the pictures under analysis seem to glorify the wounds - and in turn violence - more than the purpose of God's salvation plan.

Honestly, I do not identify with the Crucifix as a symbol of my faith. And since I've always thought the that plain wooden Cross isn't sufficient for Catholics, I've felt alienated amongst them.

And then I came across the Franciscans, with their plain wooden Cross, and then I realized, that perhaps we are not all that different.

When I get my own home one day, it would be the plain wooden Franciscan Cross that I'll place up.

early christianity

2007-03-20T19:22:00.000+08:00

in the recent bible study:

me: even Jesus took time off from the multitudes to rest while the crowd was clamouring for his attention.

jc: but that's because Jesus had no handphone!

hk: i don't think Jesus needed a handphone, he has this (points to his head)

for an art history module, i'm doing early christian & byzantine art.

this is the following synopsis from the online handbook: This subject deals with the formative stages of the art of Christian Europe from the catacomb paintings of the second and third centuries to the development of monumental Church architecture, and mosaic and fresco decoration under papal and imperial patronage in Rome, Ravenna and Constantinople in the fifth and sixth centuries. It also addresses the distinctive character of Byzantine art and its continuing influence on the west. Topics include: the influence of classical culture on the new art; the rise of the icon and conventions for depicting Christ, Mary and the saints; the development of narrative in manuscript illumination and monumental programmes; and the significance of pilgrimage and the cult of relics for Christian art. Students should acquire a sound knowledge of Early Christian and Byzantine art, and of the ways in which Christian iconography relates to Christian beliefs and ritual, as well as reflecting changing social structures and patronal interests.

as such, i have to inevitable delve into church history and biblical teachings. as this can be considered a fairly esoteric field, i really pity my course mates who have no prior knowledge of christianity; belivers or not. having said that, it is truly interesting to discuss Christianity in a purely secular context. a hypothesis was made that christianity insists on jewish roots for the ulterior motive of claiming legitimacy as burgeoning religion for their cult following.

to make it more interesting, the 'curriculum' that my bible study group is studying is the acts of the apostles which posits itself with the same time frame of the early christians that my course covers. i had glad to be able to add value to the discussion from my personal research. for instance, i came across examples of house-churches that these early christians as mentioned in acts would have gathered. also, i am more more aware of the severity of persecution of the early christians who met often to affirm their faith.

acts 5 records such as account. ironically and tragically, it was an example of the apostles being persecuted by the jews and not the romans.

the book of acts spans from 33 AD to 62 AD and shortly after in 67 AD, they were systematically persecuted under the orders of emperor nero who blamed the christians for causing the great fire of rome.

wikipedia states:
According to Tacitus, the population searched for a scapegoat and rumors held Nero responsible. To diffuse blame, Nero targeted a sect called the Christians. He ordered Christians to be thrown to dogs, while others were crucified and burned.

Tacitus described the event:
Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judaea, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular. Accordingly, an arrest was first made of all who pleaded guilty; then, upon their information, an immense multitude was convicted, not so much of the crime of firing the city, as of hatred against mankind. Mockery of every sort was added to their deaths. Covered with the skins of beasts, they were torn by dogs and perished, or were nailed to crosses, or were doomed to the flames and burnt, to serve as a nightly illumination, when daylight had expired.^[17]

this is indeed something to ponder upon as a modern day christian enjoying the freedom of worship.

spiritual warfare

2007-01-16T16:27:00.000+08:00

i've always believed in spiritual warfare. i believe that it is not metaphorical that we are asked to put on the armour of God in ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

i will not reduce spiritual warfare to exocism as glamorised by media because on the day to day basis we engage in spiritual warfare with every decision to pray to hold on to our faith.

the invisibility of such spiritual warfare was revealed to elisha's servant at the onset of a battle. glorious ain't it? not that i would ever wish it for myself

2 kings 6:15-17
When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked.
"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them."
And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Spiritual Entrepreneurs

2007-01-16T07:48:00.000+08:00

Christianity Today expounds on pitfalls of the lack of check and balance in independent charismatic churches as well as the glam factor they capitalise on.

Entrepreneurial pastors and leaders bring special gifts to the work of the church. But just as we identify the gifts of emerging leaders, we also need to engage in the spiritual exercise of identifying leaders' weaknesses. Every area of giftedness has a "shadow side"; every charism brings its own temptations. Young leaders need not only to have their gifts identified, but also to be mentored by those who understand the unique temptations that accompany those gifts.
Is our leader telegenic? That can help him communicate the gospel, but it can also turn him toward worshiping his TV image. Is he a skilled administrator? That can

help him guide an organization efficiently, but it can also tempt him to run roughshod over people who get in his way. Is he a natural motivator? That can help him enlist volunteers in the ministry, but it can also tempt him to manipulate people. The larger point is this: While leaders are responsible for their behavior, the discernment process is one that can and must take place corporately—for no Christian leader is capable of judging his gifts and motives alone.

in the beginning

2007-01-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

The Church in Antioch

Acts 11:19 -26. Now those who had been scattered by the persecution in connection with Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, telling the message only to Jews. Some of them, however, men from Cyprus and Cyrene, went to Antioch and began to speak to Greeks also, telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus. The Lord's hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord.
News of this reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.
Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch.

1) There isn't a best or most appropriate time to spread the word of God. The first Christians were dispered and converted under persecution.

2) God was with his disciplines and all who beared witness. These people did not have years and years of theological training or examintion, nor did they bicker about the most accurate theological interpretation.

3) The early Christians witnessed with their lives. Under persecution, the marks of discipleship isn't going to amount to the wealth of knowledge stored up, but to personal testimonies. Perhaps we should apply that even to peaceful circumstances.

NB: The ruins of the ancient city of Antioch resides in current day Turkey. Wikipedia calls it the cradle of gentile Christianity.

observe the sabbath part 2

2007-01-06T08:09:00.000+08:00

sometime back, i had a personal revelation about the significance of attending church on sundays.

the sabbath is not just about what-i-can-get-out-of-it. did i feel ministered to? was the sermon powerful? did worship uplift me? an entertaining and engaging preacher is secondary. being able to practice your faith freely is the affirmation of your identity and rights a person and collectively as believers in christ. making the numbers in the congregation is in fact being a witness to the rest of the world that your faith has something worth to keep coming back to church for.

in light of my existing convictions, i'm pondering upon the appropriateness of having the service/mass packaged and delivered in the comfort of your own home or having the sermon/homily downloaded at your own time.

i understand the benefits of having the Word made more accessible for everyone, especially non-church-going people. it can be a good form of outreach. my concerns should be framed in the context of regular church goers who might resort to harnessing such technology as a substitute for making their way to church. i am also uncomfortable with how the tv guide has touted tv mass as being 'comfortable'. contrary to real service/mass perhaps?

Rated (PG) Parental Guidence

2006-12-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

1 Kings 15:1-5

In the eighteenth year of the reign of Jeroboam son of Nebat, Abijah became king of Judah, and he reigned in Jerusalem three years. His mother's name was Maacah daughter of Abishalom. He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his forefather had been. Nevertheless, for David's sake the LORD his God gave him a lamp in Jerusalem by raising up a son to succeed him and by making Jerusalem strong. For David had done what was right in the eyes of the LORD and had not failed to keep any of the LORD's commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite.

my daily walk has taken me to 1 kings were the nation of israel splits into the kingdom of israel and the kingdom of judah, both ruled by reculcitrant sons of Soloman. what struck me most is the fact that God showed mercy to the rebellious line of David on account of David even though David descended the spiral of sin.

this is encouraging to me because firstly, God does not discount the efforts that we put in to be obedient to Him just because we fail every now and then. and secondly the passage shows that the way we conduct our lives now has an influence on future generations. i've always had apprehensions about bringing more children into this fallen world. the world is infested with enough corrupt and sick people as it is, statistically, if the child doesn't become one of them, he might be influenced by them; a lose-lose situation.

but perhaps i've discounted the active working of the Holy Spirit. raising a child in a christian environment isn't just about imposing a positive influence, it also covers the child with spiritual protection, in addition to the unfolding of answered prayers supplicated by his parents. so perhaps i shouldn't worry so much about what i can't control, because what i have no control over, God has.

my mom has always told me that even before i was born, she would pray for me and that one day i will be provided with the right man. her prayers did not go unheeded.

Who are God's People?

2006-12-18T06:29:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine mused, "I know how lucky I am to be born into a Catholic family where we have believed in God all our lives. But just as I was born into believing in God, there are also some people who were born to be Buddhists, Muslims etc. Can these people really be blamed for not believing in God since they were brought up to love their own religion? Does God not pursue these people of other religions? I know that there are some people who convert over time but what about those who have deeply grounded faith in their religions? Will God also pursue them?"

After a bit of pondering, I offered her my 2 cents worth:

The short answer is that God pursues everyone, and longs for everyone to acknowledge him as the Father and to acknowledge themselves as Children of God. (I'm not touching on Baptism in this email, suffice to say that inviting God to be a person's Lord and Savior is good enough for me to consider a person to have received redemption and salvation.)

However, God give us the freedom of choice, and there are consequences to the choices we make. Of course, those who are brought up in a Christian environment will have a more direct exposure to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but we shouldn't discount those who are brought up in non-Christian backgrounds.

You rightly pointed out that we are fortunate to be born into Christian families, therefore, we should all the more be more zealous in bearing witness to our faith to others. The bible have warned of persecution when we embrace Christianity.

Think about the underground churches in China in the more severely communist days. We can say that they are unfortunate to be born into a country that does not allow for the freedom of worship, the same way we think of others as unfortunate to be born in a family with strong religious traditions.

But it doesn't mean we have to stop there. Look closer to our region; the Malay Catholics are facing sever persecution in Malaysia - an Islamic State. Do a search on LINA JOY. She is a Malay who became a Catholic, but being born a Malay in Malaysia, she is not allow her to choose her religion.

Lina Joy's persecution became public 5 years ago and its still going on. Just yesterday, I read that Malaysia insisted that a deceased Malay man cannot have a Christian funeral and rejected claims from his Catholic wife that he was indeed Catholic. Malaysian authorities took 9 days after the man died to settle these issues. The wife is now bravely sueing the Islamic Council.

Or take it even closer to home, my grandparents chased one of my uncles out of the house when he told them that he was Christian. He actually had to pack up his bags and leave home. But that paved the way for God to start working in the family. Although in the face of such opposition, my mother started attending church with my Uncle. And fast forward many many years, both my grandparents became Christians themselves.

Both you and I have been brought up in Christian families because somewhere along the family line, some brave relative dared to become Christian. I don't think that we should ever take for granted that finding ourselves in a Christian environment is only 'natural'.

These are just some examples of how God continues to pursue his people. In fact I believe that it is in the times and place of persecution that Faith thrives. Ironically, it is the countries that allow for the freedom of worship that abondon God the most.

I don't think that it is any 'easier' for a free-thinker to become a Christian than it is for someone who comes from a stauch religious background. In our day and age where personal freedom, human rights and all that glitters is the headline of the news, the new strategy employed makes people believe that we are god i.e. we have full control of our lives, we are self-sufficient, we can draw upon an inner strength, it is an amoral world where everything is grey, we do not need to depend on a higher being because there is none.

I believe that God has place the burdened in your heart feel for these people. The next question is, what are we going to do about it? Start by praying for missionaries and persecuted Christians, or even unsaved friends. I have prayed for friends to become Christian, and indeed they have. Perhaps support a mission team, or support a missionary you know of in prayer and resources.

I'll always remember an aphorism I came across in my church. 'You might be the only Bible that the world might ever read'. God uses people like us to pursue his people.

That is why Here I am Lord always moves me.

I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak my words to them.
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

Discerning Discernment

2006-12-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

Brian Incigneri comprehensively elaborates the main points about Discernment: Recognising God's Voice:

1) Learning to Listen to God
The first proposition we begin with here is that God does speak to people, that is, he does communicate by some means and is fully involved in the life of each person.

2) Discernment Must Be Learnt
We come to know God’s voice by coming to know God. Discernment, then, is getting to know a person.

3) Discernment Involves Making a Choice
The word “discern” itself means to exercise judgement. With discernment, we are always faced with a simple choice: is it God acting or not?

5) Presuppositions for Discernment
You must desire to do God’s will.
You must be open to God at the moment of discerning.
You must know what God is like.
You must be a person who prays.

6) Hallmarks of a discerner
Humble
Charitable
Courageous

7) What is discerned must be consistent with what God has said previously

8) The Three Ways of Making A Choice
Revelation
Reasoning
Discernment

9) Discernment involves the whole person
Our feelings
Our intellect
Our will

Although the pointers of discernment provided by Brian Incigneri are very applicable, I believe that discerning shouldn't be so technical. He rightly points out that discerning is like getting to know a friend and we can therefore tell if the decisions made by the person is in character with the person or not. Expanding on that analogy, I don't think we conciously have a check list at hand in getting to know someone better.

I also disagree with Brian Incigneri on certain points. He says, "Discernment is the art of knowing when it is God acting upon or speaking to us, and when it is not. This art can only be learned by trial and error ... Yet we will never recognise the voice of God with absolute clarity, and anyone who claims to hear God clearly and with certainty should be avoided — they have not even begun to know spiritual realities if they make such a claim." (Italics by author). I rather dare to be confident with certain decisions and directions that I discern from the workings of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Perhaps we're too caught up in trying to 'get it right' that we forget to engage with who we're trying to discern. 1 Kings 3 reminded me that we can simply ask for discernment the way Soloman did in verses 9-12.

So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?" The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be.

So, just come as you are, and ask. And I believe that as long as we come in the right spirit, everything will fall into place.

paradoxical

2006-12-11T19:46:00.000+08:00

2 Samuel 24:24
But the king replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."

Our walk with God is such a paradox. While some people perceive it to be a lifestyle of denial, it is also a lifestyle of deliverance and protection.

While at crossroads in life we entrust our decisions to God, we also know God to proclaim that he grants us the desires of our heart.

And now, as 2 Samuel 24:24 reminds us of the cost of sacrifice as disciples of God - possibly miscontrued to be a sadistic tyrant who has all he wants already - we have to put into perspective that God is a God of providence and limitless blessing.

So for every 'hardship' that we think we are bearing for Christ, it helps to have the perspective that our understanding of God's plans are limited and that at the end of it, it is us who benefit and gain from a giving, loving God.

(Not a) Genie in a Bottle

2006-12-04T07:50:00.000+08:00

Perhaps i have said this before but in different words, and maybe also from a different perspective: my God is not an administration of membership clubs. therefore 'conversion' from one denomination to another, or to a transfer membership from one church to another doesn't make any sense to me.

I believe that it is the right attitude to want to be obedient to God but in our over-zealousness to be right before God, we unwittingly tend to reduce and pack Him in a tiny box. My God is not a genie in a bottle, where we have to say the right things, rub the magic lamp in the right way, in order to invite God to take his place after trying with our own efforts to be in his presence. I think it is pride in most cases that causes us to feel that we need to defend the way we arrange our lives to invite God to come into it - the crux of any theological debate.

Perhaps we (believers brought up in different demoninational environs) have more in common than we think. The fact that we are moved to 'defend God' so to speak already signals that we are share a common basis, a basis that desires to be obedient, discerning and zealous in sharing our faith in God as each of us are called to do.

A few weeks ago, I (a Methodist) found myself echoing the views of a conservative Catholic.

The Chaplain of the Uniting Church (University of Melbourne) oversees a bible study group that meets weekly. In view that she will be stepping down as Chaplain, the group met up to discuss their next plan of action; should they continue, status quo, under the new Chaplain or should they continue meeting up independent of any affiliation to a particular denomination.

I was invited by the Uniting Church Chaplain to sit in that meeting because she knows that I have done a fair amount of pondering about denominational differences on a personal level.

The next question that was raised was, "Is it really necessary for the group to be headed by a Chaplain?"

They bible study group wants to be open to all people interested in knowing more about God, and aligning the group to a particular denomination will inevitably infuse the group with the ideosyncracies of that denomination, in turn putting certain people off. This might be the outcome of having a Chaplain to oversee the group. On the other hand, not having a Chaplain would mean that the group may not have 'spiritual leadership' for lack of a better word.

My view was that, yes I believe for it to be necessary for the group to have a Chaplain because then I would be more assured that the group will be less likely to go off tangent. I will hesitate to be part of a free floating group that claims to be completely ecumenical because then who will be there to mediate different interpretations? Who will be there to set of the siren when things go dodegy? I rather work on the basis that everyone is entitled to their opinions and when differences araise, its ok to disagree, regulated by a figure of authority.

The example I gave was my involvement with a Catholic ministry in Melbourne Uni. As a Methodist, OCF might seems more suited to my protestant background. But because I am under the impression that OCF does not have ministry staff serving in an official capacity, I hestitate to be a part of it. There are certain theological interpretations that does not sit will with me in the Catholic ministry, but because they clearly know where they stand, I find myself in a better position to engage with the differences as well as with their spiritual advisor.

That being said, I believe that God is bigger than any denomination that human beings box themselves in and more than that, God is able to work in all of us, flawed individuals who have flawed perceptions of how a church should best operate.

ways and means

2006-11-16T11:20:00.000+08:00

it has been a while since i last posted. the hectic schedule of essay deadlines is a cause, but shouldn't be a good enough reason.

now that the academic year is over, i'll strive to be consistent with my daily reading and reflections. experiences, movies, books, conversations are only as meaningful as the time taken to make meaning out of them, bible reading not withstanding. therefore, i'll take a step further to mediate on the given passage thoughtfully, rather then to hurriedly move onto the next action item in my to-do-list.

a lesson from today's reading from 2 samuel 5-7 is about carrying out God's intentions according to his timing and methods. this is not enough to discern what God's plan is, but also to discern the ways in which they are to be accomplished.

i think many a times christians in ministry feel that as long as they are doing something 'good', something that benefits everyone else, they are definitely on the right track. strategy and direction aren't essential.

Proverbs 16: 9 assures us otherwise.

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

'Steps' means the stages in the process, the direction of the course of action, the pace at which to proceed, the degree and rate of progress, and the walk itself. not to say that God is one that 'micro-manages', rather, he is one who doesn't leave us to sink or swim and struggle with insurmountable tasks.

My encounter with a Jesuit Priest

2006-10-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, I had the very good opportunity to hear Father Robin Koning of the Jesuit Theological College to speak at a Cosdu session regarding discerning God's Word in the Bible. He was a thoroughly humorous and engaging speaker who delivered the topic brilliantly answered our quires concisely.

His profile on the Jesuit website featured this (last updated March 2005):

Robin Koning SJ, who spent some years at Balgo, has just been awarded a Doctorate for his work on the relationship between culture and theology. Robin will return to Australia in the year and will maintain his connections with indigenous ministry, while based at Jesuit Theological College.
Robin Koning’s doctoral thesis focused on the work of anthropologist Clifford Geertz. Geertz’ work has been influential in encouraging us to explore the important role that symbols have in the making of culture. This approach has interested many theologians, who are fascinated by the play of symbols in faith and theology. Robin brought to his thesis his personal experience of living within indigenous cultures and also a keen interest in Bernard Lonergan, the Jesuit philosopher whose approach he compares and ultimately prefers to that of Geertz.

Further piqued by one more burning question about the session which I emailed Father Robin Koning, he again provided me with a thoroughly satisfying reply that has spurred me on to continue deeper research into understanding the work of God.

Question:

In the context of discerning God's Word in examples in the Bible, Jesus repudiated some traditions and affirmed others. In this aspect he acted as a check and balance in the religious order at that point of time. Does the Catholic Church in the present time have a mechanism of check and balance. If there isn't, should there be one?

Answer:

Firstly, Jesus of course did far more than provide checks and balances for the Jewish religious system – he completely revamped it by completely fulfilling it, bringing it to completion and fullness and healing. Thus, the Temple, which was the focal point of Israelite worship, was replaced by his very body (Jn 2:19-21); the Passover meal, the high point of Israelite religious life, was transformed into the Lord's supper; and the 12 apostles were established as the foundation of the new Jerusalem and the ones who are to judge the twelve tribes of Israel (Rev 21:14; Mt 19:28).

So it is a mistake to presume that all aspects of the people of God of the Old Testament will necessarily be aspects of the people of God, the Church, of the new covenant. Of course, there are numerous parallels. But there is also a very fundamental difference - the Law and the old Israel were provisional, always looking forward to fulfillment in a different, new reality, as part of the new creation. That new reality, that new creation, has been established by Christ, by his life, death and resurrection, and part of that new reality is his establishment of a community who would continue to be his presence in the world, his Body.

Now, however sinful that Church will always be, Jesus made various promises that it could not go astray in ways which mean it was not a sure source of God's grace and truth. For example, "the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. " (Mt 16:18); "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth." ( Jn. 16:13); "Whoever listens to you listens to me, and whoever rejects you rejects me." (Lk. 10:16) Moreover, St Paul confirms this when he speaks of the Church as the pillar of truth: "the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." (1Tim. 3:15)

So ultimately the checks and balances remain the same – Jesus himself, and his promises and the assurance of his word. He has not set up another provisional entity, like the people of Israel – he has established the new and definitive covenant with a new and definitive Israel. And out of his love and desire for all to be saved, he has established this new Israel with guarantees and promises of his protection and guidance so that, in all that is essential the faith, essential to the salvation of people, it cannot go astray.

In relation to checks and balances within the church, I would suggest that in one way there cannot be institutionalised checks and balances for once anything is institutionalised, on a human level, it is itself open to corruption and misdirection. The checks and balances and challenges to the Church in its human dimension are provided by prophetic voices, and the Church has always been blessed with these – both people who speak out strongly, even to the highest authorities in the Church (eg St Catherine of Siena challenging the Pope, at that time resident in Avignon in France that is was time to return to where he should be, in Rome), or by their saintly lives and who they are (eg the constant challenge to structures of the church by those who live a very real and deep poverty – St Francis, Mother Teresa). Sometimes these checks and balances are in the highest authority themselves – eg Pope John XXIII challenging the Roman curia, who thought he would just be a caretaker Pope and would do very little, by calling a Council of the Church which brought about major changes, namely the Second Vatican Council.

Within the Catholic Church, there are also balances at structural levels – the basic hierarchical structure (priests, bishops, cardinals, pope etc) and the 'charismatic' structure (religious orders, with their own communities, rules, and often doing outreach and more missionary work, and therefore having a certain dynamism). Also the many new ecclesial movements – charismatic movement, Cursillo, Neo-catechumenal community, Christian Life Communities, Emmanuel, Sant' Egidio... - all are inspired by the Spirit at particular times to be a dynamic and missionary element in the church.

Anyway, that's enough for now. But I think the key point is that the Church is not provisional. Of course, its earthly structures will pass away at the Second Coming when all is completely fulfilled, but even then, the Church as the people of God will be praising God forever in heaven.

Hope this helps.

In Christ

Fr Robin

band of brothers

2006-10-23T12:07:00.000+08:00

1 samuel 20

1 Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, "What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?"
2 "Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn't do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why would he hide this from me? It's not so!"
3 But David took an oath and said, "Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, 'Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.' Yet as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death."
4 Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you."

i'm towards the end of 1st samuel now.
the relationship jonathan has with david reminds me of frodo and sam of lord of the rings.

two in a row

2006-10-07T06:40:00.000+08:00

sometimes, the bible repeats certain principals or truths to emphasize the gravity of it.

today, i came across one that i initially didn't know was repeated, which i also came across twice in a week. have i said twice in a week?

Ephesians 5:31
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Mark 10: 7
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.

personally, the idea of leaving his father and mother appeals to me. something that goes against the grain of chinese tradition.

the flipside of providence

2006-10-02T08:22:00.000+08:00

i think one of the main things that sets the christian apart from the world is the "illogical" trust that God will provide. while the world instills the mantra in us that "there is no such thing as a free meal", the bible assures us not to worry about clothes, "See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin."

when reading John Piper's article in Crosswalk.com (Use the Means but don't Trust in Means, Trust in God), i realised that the obstacle for receiving providence from God lies in our own hestitation to claim the promises of God. we still think that there is no such thing as a free meal, and feel more secure in labor and toil.

in his article, i am challenged to make use of my talents and abilities as God bestows, but not rely on them as the sole source of my success or failure.

John Pipers puts its, "It is quite true that, in general, the Lord provides the necessaries of life by means of our ordinary calling; but that that is not THE REASON why we should work, is plain enough from the consideration, that if our possessing the necessaries of life depended upon our ability of working, we could never have freedom from anxiety, for we should always have to say to ourselves, and what shall I do when I am too old to work? or when by reason of sickness I am unable to earn my bread? But if on the other hand, we are engaged in our earthly calling, because it is the will of the Lord concerning us that we should work, and that thus laboring we may provide for our families and also be able to support the weak, the sick, the aged, and the needy, then we have good and scriptural reason to say to ourselves: should it please the Lord to lay me on a bed of sickness, or keep me otherwise by reason of infirmity or old age, or want of employment, from earning my bread by means of the labor of my hands, or my business, or my profession, He will yet provide for me."

i am one who constantly obsess over my grades as sole indicators of my success or failure. in recent times however, i've come to realise that my grades do not define me. my intellect and academic aptitude are God's gifts to be used for ministry and edification, therefore i should receive them as a blessing as not as tools - or perhaps a life buoy - in my imagined make or break senarios. to apply the crux of John Piper's point; should i please the Lord for me to not excel in my studies against my best efforts, he will still provide for my career direction and future prospects.

as an after thought, perhaps every now and then God allows us to experience failure against our best efforts to make us realise not to trust in our tools or means, but to ultimately trust in God.

1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.

Gideon

2006-09-01T06:59:00.000+08:00

very often, i find the bible rather 'contemporary'. what we grouse about in our day and age isn't very different from back then.

in times of persecution and suffering, Gideon asked the angel of God the same thing that we contemporary christians might ask - if God is good, why is there suffering?

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
"But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian."

in reply,

The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"

it seems like God has already provided the way out of suffering in the world, and that is by the actions of his followers who he has equipped and called. but like Gideon, we make many excuses for ourselves by dwelling on our inadequacies and even testing God's clarity.

the call for social justice doesn't have to be on a large political and military scale such as wiping out the Midianites. furthermore, God demonstrates to Gideon that it is not the strength of might or power that victory is obtained, but by the Spirit of the Lord. God cuts down the size of Gideon's army to a mere strength of 300 men which defeated the Midianite army of 120,000.

but like us, Gideon turns his back on God after a satisfying victory.

Gideon seems to have come full circle; the calling of Gideon to deliver the Israelites from their oppressors started with the instruction to destroy his family alter to Baal. and now Gideon reinstates the oppressive spiritual stronghold in his family by creating a gold idol with their plunder in which "all Israel prostituted themselves by worshiping it there, and it became a snare to Gideon and his family."

"what is he thinking!" we might flabbergast in bewilderment, "he is asking for trouble!" but perhaps in contemporary times, we too might be harboring our own idols and seeds of destruction that we resist uprooting.

so back to the initial question, "if God is good, why is there suffering?" from the account of Gideon in judges chapters 6-8, it is firstly because God's followers shun away from ameliorating the adversities and secondly, we ourselves sow the seeds of destruction.

commander-in-chief - judge deborah

2006-08-30T08:15:00.000+08:00

the book of judges opens with the rise and fall of israel in the promised land itself. whenever israel succumb to disobedience and suffer the consequences, they call out to God who delivers them time and time again with the leadership of judges.

one of which is a woman, a wife, a leader, a warrior, a prophetess, a judge - deborah.

leadership is often male dominated, especially in the olden days. it is heartening for me to see God rising up a woman to be the commander-in-chief.

Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' "

after successfully overcoming 900 iron chariots of the enemy sisera, it is again a woman who delivers the final blow to the enemy by killing him with her hands.

"Most blessed of women be Jael,
the wife of Heber the Kenite,
most blessed of tent-dwelling women.
He asked for water, and she gave him milk;
in a bowl fit for nobles she brought him curdled milk.
Her hand reached for the tent peg,
her right hand for the workman's hammer.
She struck Sisera, she crushed his head,
she shattered and pierced his temple.
At her feet he sank,
he fell; there he lay.
At her feet he sank, he fell;
where he sank, there he fell-dead.

deborah's account continues to relate the fall of sisera from another woman's point of view - the wisest of the ladies of sisera's mother.

"Through the window peered Sisera's mother;
behind the lattice she cried out,
'Why is his chariot so long in coming?
Why is the clatter of his chariots delayed?'

The wisest of her ladies answer her;
indeed, she keeps saying to herself,

'Are they not finding and dividing the spoils:
a girl or two for each man,
colorful garments as plunder for Sisera,

do not take lightly the strength, wisdom and counsel of women.

my confirmation

2006-08-23T08:09:00.000+08:00

My background

I come from a family of Christians who has been attending a Methodist church in Singapore.

I was baptised as an infant of 3 months at a Methodist church and has since pretty much grown up in a Methodist environment which involves weekly Sunday school i.e. catechism for kids, church camps and further supplemented with chapel and devotion at the Methodist school i attended for 10 years.

I was confirmed at the age of 19, just after the 'A's levels, also at Wesley Methodist church. Prior to confirmation, all candidates whether or not we have been attending Sunday school, have to go through a 10 week programme of baptism/confirmation classes and at the end of it submit an essay on why we truly want to be baptised/confirmed. the nicene creed is the basis of my confirmation.

it is not an exam where we can be failed, rather the exercise is for us to gain clarity on our position, readiness and motives.

So that did confirmation/baptism do for me?

I don't consider myself a believer just because I was baptized as an infant, rather infant baptism is my parent's act of dedication and commitment to God. I accepted Christ in primary school and I have been a believer since; that was a personal and deliberate choice. Confirmation doesn't make me more Christ like just because I get a certificate at the end of it. What confirmation does is that it renews my covenant with God.

There are 2 levels at which baptism/confirmation works.

Firstly, confirmation is a personal and deliberate choice when we come of age to understand the significance and expectations of our decision. Secondly, the public declaration of this confirmation puts us forth as a witness for our faith in God. At once, we become both accountable to God and to the community of believers.

Confirmation is not the start of my walk with God, instead, it is a milestone in my journey because prior to the stage of confirmation, the Holy Spirit would have been guiding and prompting me towards that direction. Confirmation didn't automatically make me a holier Christian, on the contrary it makes me realise how much i fall short. Confirmation holds me accountable for my faith not just what I believe in, but what I do about it and in doing so, I become more conscious about the spiritual dimension of everything I say and do.

At confirmation, I didn't see the heavens part and a ray of light descend upon my head like in the opening sequence of Mr. Bean. But I believed that took place on a spiritual level because in confirming my faith in God, I am increasing making myself available for Him to work in me.

This kind of understanding takes place at the intellectual level and it is the working of the Holy Spirit that transcends these abstract ideas into meaningful moments.

I had one such moment in the primary school that I was teaching in. I noticed that just outside the side gate where most students enter and leave school, is a huge graffiti of the satanic symbol. No one made any fuss about it because although it faced my school, it wasn't painted on school property and vandalism is just that, vandalism. I tried to ignore it but I felt very uneasy about it. Already, there is a spirit of oppression and defeat in the neighborhood. Subsequently, during one of the sermons in church about spiritual warfare, I felt moved to pray over the vandalism. i prayed that somehow it would go away. and the following day, what I saw, was a fresh coat of brick coloured paint applied over the vandalism.

I can't say that my prayer was more effective just because I’m a confirmed Christian, or that my prayer wouldn't work before confirmation, rather the process of being spiritually sensitive to our surroundings and consciously allowing God to work in my life is made more acute by constantly confirming my faith in God.

I often thought of accepting Christ as a spiritual wedding. The ceremony is significant in itself, but what's more important comes after in how you manage the marriage. Like wise, confirmation is a process, not a one off ceremony and being formally welcomed into the community of believers; confirmation holds us accountable but also supplies us with that network of support.

providence once again

2006-08-17T19:09:00.000+08:00

Joshua 24:13
So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant.'

my daily devotional materials chronologically goes through the entire bible, but it also provides the context and lessons drawn from each chunk of reading.

i've finished the book of joshua today. the israelites have finally entered the promised land, conquered and and settled in.

the next part is perhaps what i'll be more interested in - how is it that the israelites were dispersed and displaced from their promised land.

Purposes of the Word/Will of God

2006-08-16T07:12:00.000+08:00

Direction & Guidance
Psalms 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Paradiagm Shift
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Manual for Godly Living
1 Thessalonians 4:2-7
For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

Gratefulness
1 Thessalonians 5: 18
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

song of the week

2006-08-07T06:45:00.000+08:00

Be still for the presence of the Lord
The Holy One is here
Come bow before Him now
With reverence and fear

In Him no sin is found
We stand on holy ground
Be still for the presence of the Lord
The Holy One is here

Be still for the glory of the Lord
Is shining all around
He burns with holy fire
With splendor He is crowned

How awesome is the sight
Our radiant King of Light
Be still for the glory of the Lord
Is shining all around

Be still for the power of the Lord
Is moving in this place
He comes to cleanse and heal
To minister His grace
No work too hard for Him
In faith receive from Him
Be still for the power of the Lord
Is moving in this place

passing a milestone

2006-08-02T08:43:00.000+08:00

the first semester has come and gone, and the new one weighs heavily upon me. i have done very well in the first semester, academically and spiritually. i have made many deep and meaningful friendships with friends who have come to trust me enough to share their heart-felt struggles with me. i have also manged to meditate on the first five books of the bible - an amazing feat for me. all these was done with the strength and blessing of God.

as i embark on the new semester proper with a new syllabus and new responsiblities in my ministry, i pray that i'll sustain the balance between portioning my time and commitment to God and my academic pursuit.

it is also apt (as it always happens to be) that the start of the new semester coincides with my daily walk which continues at the book of Joshua where Joshua has been annointed the magnificent and also daunting task to taking the israelites into the promised land. God's assurance however always comes with the tasks He sets out for us.

Joshua 1:6:9
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

to further assure those crossing into the promised land, God parted the jordan river to parallel the parting of the red sea. God remembers that those entering the promised land has never experienced the crossing of the red sea since that generation was wiped out in the forty years of wilderness. This shows that God personally renews his promises and mircles to each new generation of believers.

the God that delievered the isralites from egypt and brought the new generation into the promised land will also renew his promises and perform miracles to believers in the present day and age, not because he needs to extend his contract with us, but because he knows that it is us who are forgetful and need assurance.

the word is very near you

2006-07-27T09:51:00.000+08:00

Deuteronomy 30:11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

the Armour of God reminded me that The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit, (Ephesians 6:17) and what does a weapon like the sword do?

Just before the Israelites are about to enter the promise land, Moses spells out all the do's and don'ts for them to adhere, but the most crucial instruction is to keep the word of God close to heart. Unlike the Isrealites back then, we have the the word of God i.e. the Holy Bible conveniently bound and placed before us, served on a silver platter, what's our excuse for not spending time meditating on it?

be still

2006-07-25T20:52:00.000+08:00

be still and know that I am God.

perhaps the most difficult thing for most busy urbanites,
its to simply be still and know that God is God.

to know that God is God is to trust that without the tasks we set ourselves to accomplish,
the earth will still remain in orbit.

to be still and acknowledge that we should drop whatever we're doing,
and turn to God in QT, in prayer, in affirmation, in fellowship, whenever He demands of it.

the new semester is upon me,
new responsiblities in my committee,
new targets set,
new deadlines to meet,
new essays to compose,
new travel plans to make,
its really easy to loose track of your priorities
and even more difficult
to be still and know that God is God.

what if i forget this?
what if i neglect that?
what if i don't measure up?
what if, what if, what if.

i suppose that's how to
"lean not on your own understanding",
by having the faith to be still,
by simply standing.

Ephesians 6:10-18 sums it up very well in the Armor of God. the most striking thing about the Armor of God is that after we protect ourselves, all we need to do is to stand in faith (in the word of God) and prayer, and be still and know that God is God.

The Armor of God

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

providence time and again

2006-07-13T19:53:00.000+08:00

Deuteronomy 8

4: Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.

17-18: You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced the wealth for me."But remember that Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers as it is today.

although the israelites were punished to roam the wilderness for forty years as the result of their disobedience, God continued to protect them. i knew about the manna that rained down from the sky and water emitting from hard rock, but its only now that i come across smaller details that God doesn't forget such as their clothes and health.

God is not just the God of the big picture, but is also the God of our lesser concerns.

observe the sabbath

2006-07-02T16:22:00.000+08:00

i have all the answers - theologically - why we need to observe the sabbath, the good it would do for us, the benefits of expressing the sabbath by congregating at a church to listen to a sermon. but since i got to melbourne, attending a church regularly has been a challenge for me. i used to attend st jude's uni church on sunday evenings, but as winter crept in, as the days got shorts and as the nights got colder, walking to elgin street was dreary. sometimes i would check out life expedition, but their ra-ra-ness is not quite my cup of tea.

i spent the cold, wet and dreary afternoon watching schindler's list and its accompanying documentary on dvd. what really moved me was how schindler allowed his jews at brinnlitz to observe the sabbath. the expression of their faith was banned pretty much along with their existence, and after such persecution, being allowed to put down their work and gather without fear as God's people to observe the sabbath was such a blessing.

the sabbath is not just about what-i-can-get-out-of-it. did i feel ministered to? was the sermon powerful? did worship uplift me? an entertaining and engaging preacher is secondary. being able to practice your faith freely is the affirmation of your identity and rights a person and collectively as believers in christ. making the numbers in the congregation is in fact being a witness to the rest of the world that your faith has something worth to keep coming back to church for.

while schindler's jews relished in finally being able to observe the sabbath with humble ceremony and reverence, who am i to begrudge the damp weather and a 20 minute walk when i am blessed with all that i need?

no prizes in guessing where i'll be this evening.

update: moments after i entered st jude's, a familiar face came up to me. it happens that insa, a german girl from my ISOP tasmania trip has been attending st jude's since april. her group of friends have unfortunately all returned to the US. she was very glad to have met a friend at st jude's as well.

conversion

2006-06-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

in recent times, the scott hahn conversion story has been bugging me. i do not have an issue with how God has worked with and through scott hahn in his own unique way. it is the word "conversion" that does not sit will with me.

"conversion" seems to convey a debunking of previous beliefs and embracing completely new ones. i do not believe that was the case with scott hahn. his protestant grounding definitely provided him with sound fundamentals. i would not want to attribute his spiritual foundations to a protestant or any denominational basis because it is God who nurtures and nourishes our spirit, not a tradition, not a heritage.

scott hahn might have been seen as a rebel rouser within his protestant community, the same way john wesley - the founder of the methodist church - was. john wesley set up his own methodist chapel when the anglican order in his time disallowed him from preaching on "sacred cow" topics. "the world is my perish" was his motto, he felt burdened for the lower classes so to speak and often preached to the industrial workers and the uneducated. his message was simply God's love. the theological establishment in his time seemed to parallel the pharisees in Jesus' time. so comfortable were they in their ivory towers that the keepers of the law distanced themselves from real people and real issues.

in opposing the anglican order however, i don't believe that john wesley was turning his back on everything he learnt from the heritage and tradition thrust upon him, his father was in fact an anglican minister. for all his head knowledge however, john wesley never experienced God palpably until he was "strangely warmed" by God's presence during a prayer session.

like scott hahn, john wesley was called by God in a new direction in his ministry, not a superior direction, just one that met God's purposes at that specific time and place, which involved going against the grain of the established order.

so why rock the boat? why would God allow for the splintering of an established order that gave rise to other denominations? after all, doesn't God sanction order and unity in the church?

i have people tell me that the Catholic church is the church and every other denomination has deviated and strayed in folly.

this is what i think.

from what i have gathered from scott hahn's conversion story, john wesley's founding of the methodist church, martin luther's reformation and even Jesus' messianic ministry, i believe that God does rise up anointed leaders to rock the boat of established orders when God's church fall into the "pharisee-trap". it is a most humbling encounter for the head of an established order to be told that his leadership has left much to be desired.

in all this, humility is the key ingredient to be used by God. perhaps there is something to learn form every denomination, from every fellow brother and sister in Christ. none of us will truly find ourselves having arrived, paradoxically, the moment we feel so, we're at the furthest point.

above all, i believe that no church is perfect because people are flawed by default. the attitude we should take when we do God's work is to recognize our imperfections and acknowledge that God will work and wants to work with and through flawed individuals and flawed churches.

so if all these churches are flawed, which one should you choose to attend? the best option is to surrender that option to God and ask Him to lead you to a church where he wants you to serve in, not just one that you're most comfortable with. in fact, it is in discomfort that our learning curve and spiritual growth soars.

doctor dolittle

2006-06-24T11:13:00.000+08:00

the date i am at in my daily walk is 16 February. i am way behind schedule.
in stark comparison, i am preparing for my winter module in advance.

balance needs to brought back to the force.

today's passage revealed another gem of interest in the old testiment.

Numbers 22

26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"
29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."
30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," he said.
31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

God seems to use donkeys quite a bit and in astounding ways to say the least. Jesus rode on a donkey on palm sunday, and here, the donkey speaks.

the most comic instance here is Balaam's unfazed answer to the donkey. who would actually talk back to an animal? i would have been nonplussed!

fear and trembling

2006-06-21T10:21:00.000+08:00

i'm resuming my daily walk at numbers.

who says the old testament is boring and dull? its dramatically astounding!
when the israelites were delivered out of egypt, God provided a pillar of cloud by day which turned into a pillar of fire by night. visualise that bearing in mind how hot the day is in the desert and how cold it gets at night.

still, as the pillar of cloud/fire hovered above them, the isrealites grumbled against God when all except caleb and joshua were pessimistic about conquering the promise land and even wished they were back as slaves in egypt.

even after God wiped out a Levite uprising by causing the earth swallow up the instigator, the israelites continued to bear a grudge against Moses.

this was what happened next (numbers 16):

42 But when the assembly gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron and turned toward the Tent of Meeting, suddenly the cloud covered it and the glory of the LORD appeared. 43 Then Moses and Aaron went to the front of the Tent of Meeting, 44 and the LORD said to Moses, 45 "Get away from this assembly so I can put an end to them at once." And they fell facedown.
46 Then Moses said to Aaron, "Take your censer and put incense in it, along with fire from the altar, and hurry to the assembly to make atonement for them. Wrath has come out from the LORD; the plague has started." 47 So Aaron did as Moses said, and ran into the midst of the assembly. The plague had already started among the people, but Aaron offered the incense and made atonement for them. 48 He stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped. 49 But 14,700 people died from the plague, in addition to those who had died because of Korah. 50 Then Aaron returned to Moses at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting, for the plague had stopped.

many people would think the ungrateful israelites as foolish and incorrigible, daft and unable to see the obvious. but perhaps we too take for granted God's pillar of cloud by day and His pillar of cloud by night, especially when our ambitions and hopes are dashed.

it is well with my soul

2006-05-05T03:37:00.000+08:00

It is well with my Soul

Words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876
The words to this hymn was written after two major traumas in Spafford's life. The first was the Great Chicago Fire of October 1871, which ruined him financially. Shortly after, while crossing the Atlantic, all four of Spafford's daughters died in a collision with another ship. Spafford's wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram: "SAVED ALONE." Several weeks later, as Spafford's own ship passed near the spot where his daughters died, he was inspired to write these words.
Bliss originally named the tune "Ville de Havre" after the ship on which Spafford's four girls perished, the SS Ville de Havre. Ironically, Bliss himself died in a tragic train wreck shortly after writing this music.

walking on a tight rope

2006-05-01T08:39:00.000+08:00

i have so much to do,
i have to take time to pray.

Providence 2

2006-04-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

Leviticus 25

18 " 'Follow my decrees and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land. 19 Then the land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and live there in safety. 20 You may ask, "What will we eat in the seventh year if we do not plant or harvest our crops?" 21 I will send you such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will yield enough for three years.

I've probably blogged about God's Providence before, but I am compelled to mention the reminder in today's reading that as Children of God we live on a radically different pane.
Basically, humanity doesn't believe in blessings. Its like we have to prepare a contingency plan in case God fails to deliver.

If we solely apply business acumen, target setting and trend plotting in our everyday lives, we'll find it hard to reconcile our physical world and the spiritual dimension. However rather than taking the plunge, I believe that our trust in God needs to be nurtured. And knowing our human nature God does pace us according to our individuality and his timing.

In the meantime, believe that there is such thing as a free meal.

i followed the white easter rabbit

2006-04-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

this easter, i followed the white easter rabit, and it showed me how far the rabbit hole went.

i was oscillating between going and not going for Cosdu's easter camp. Work was my main excuse, but as i admitted that work doesn't pose a problem to be, i began to give more serious thought to it. finally i decided that i can't go wrong in going to a place to spend time with God.

As the days drew near, I prayed with a heart of expectancy knowing that God will indeed reveal something deeper when we seek Him. i was excited, yet hesitant, brave, yet intimidated. coming from a different background, i didn't know how comfortable i would be in the camp. Still, i wanted to get to know real Catholics and see what how they related to God.

"Beyond the Tomb in the Light" was the theme was the camp. The sessions therefore revolved around this theme. The Bible reading was based on Mary Magdalene inability to recognised the resurrected Jesus. We then reflected how we at time are also unable to recognise God when we're blinded by our own grief and despair.

the message became real to me during the evening worship sessions. it was as if each song was specically chosen in that exact sequence to speak to me. they were familiar sunday school songs, i knew each song by heart, or so i thought.

as the room dimmed, and as we sang, each chord stroke hard at my core. "nobody's eyes sees through my soul, better than yours, nobody love can make me whole no one but yours", it was then that i received God's word. He made me realized how tired and burdened i actually was fighting my own battles when "the battle belongs to the Lord." i've always got it all figured out, i've got my own contingency plans, my own wisdom, but i've never stopped to surrender to God's plan and timing. "Jesus break through all my defences, empower me."

it was in this alien non-methodist place that God surrounded me with familiarity and comfort. and then i realized what it is i was searching for all this time; i was yearning to be in the same place of worship with him. i wanted so bad to break the spiritual disconnect. i imagine him there, worshipping along side with me, he would have been in his comfort zone, and i would be in mine.

i thought i had to break through walls of brick to get to that comfort zone, but God put me right where i feel i can belong, all i had to do was to let go and let God. i've set myself loose in a maze, bashing through the blind spots, but when i seeked God, i turned a different corner and found myself right back at home. as God expressed his reassurance, the tears had to flow.

my "Beyond the Tomb into the Light" experience was to be able to see God in the worship songs, songs that have been learnt more by head then by heart, and therefore appeared dead. God was always there, but in my own struggles, i could not recognise Him. But when God drew near and spoke, the songs appeared alive again and the weeping could stop.

"A broken spirit and a contrived heart, you will not despise". In one of the sessions, we were to reflect on what we were weeping for, in the same way Mary Magdeline weeped when she saw the empty tomb. i shared that i was weeping for being unable to weep, and during the worship session, i did eventually weep so that my weeping could stop.

resolves and reconciliation

2006-03-04T07:01:00.000+08:00

Psalms 37:4
delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

be thou my visison, the Lord of my heart
be thou my wisdom, and thou my true Word.

in various ways, i am trying to reconcile some unresolve in my life.
academically, i need to make sense out of modernism and postmodernism;
which meaning stems from its relationship between the individual and the stimulus.
theologically, i need to resolve conflicting interpretation of doctrine;
what is my articulated stand when questioned?
spiritually, i need to find a place of worship
where i do not feel inhibited or bound by protocols.

learning and searching are journeys, which destinations do not expect to arrive instantly.
in the mean time, i will wear my heart on my sleeve and go out on a limb, prayerfully trusting that God will prompt me to be in the appropriate place at the appropriate time to resolve my unresolves and reconcile my wisdom, vision and desires.

i am slow of speech and tongue

2006-03-01T06:09:00.000+08:00

Genesis 4

10 Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue,"

11 The Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

i've cultivated the habit to start each day with your daily walk. ironically, the onslaught of academic readings is the impetus for reading the Bible. since we acknowledge that God's word is the book of the highest importance, i do not want to plunge into the deluge of academic readings before practicing what i preach.

being blessed with intellect is a paradox. rather, being blessed with anything can be a paradox because that's when we forget that God is the essence of our strength and start of vicious cycle of leaning on our own understanding. i shall therefore make a concious effort to remember the Provider and be humbled.

even when blessed with intellect, i sometimes fall into the pit of self-doubt and inadequacy, especially when intimated by other brighter sparks. today's passage reminds me that i'm here to learn, not to show off. and when i acknowledge God's purpose for bringing me here, i take comfort that God will help me speak and teach me what to say.

mother earth

2006-02-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

a week ago, i attended the sustainable living festival at federation square. waste minimization, recycling, solar energy, responsible consumerism, going organic, veganism, etc were the themes of the day.

it is refreshing and enouraging to see enthusiastic volunteers manning the booths and beseeching the public to be good stewards of the earth. environmental education was after all my portfolio at the primary school that i was teaching at. and i too support anti-consumerism.

however while trying to save the earth, new age movements also gain momentum. mother earth, being one with nature, the spirit in the eco-system, the energy in living things, positivity, karma all come into play.

people were making a beeline for what sukyo mahikari was offering. the disciples of sukyo mahikari laid hands on people, particularly on the forehead, for 10 minutes in an effort to purify the person and restore positivity.

The Su God, also known as Revered-Parent Origin-Lord True-Light Great God, is said to have returned to the world after a period of withdrawal (Young 35). The deity appeared to the founder at five in the morning with a revelation. Su God, whose name means "True God of Light," is said to be God of fire, light, and the sun (Young 35). Though lesser deities failed at the task, Su God's goal is to rid the world of evil spirits, and cleanse the human body of defilements that lead to sickness and unnatural death (Young 35). Defilements refer to the toxins of modernization, like pollution and medicine (Young 35). Su God also promised to bathe the world "in a Baptism of Fire" with a light that heals for followers and a light that destroys for non-believers.

i think it is all well and good that we recognise the damage we're doing when we consume beyond our resources. but even so, i hope people can discern that they can only conserve and harness, but cannot create.

Christian Unity Evening

2006-02-23T15:54:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE – The Jubilate choir set a joyous tone as 280 Christians of different denominations came together in the church of Toa Payoh Methodist last Jan 23 for anecumenical celebration of the Word.

This was the second ecumenical Prayer Service during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity in Singapore. The first was held at Church of St. Ignatius on Jan 19, 2006.

Leaders of different denominations took turns to lead the prayer service. In his homily, Father Frans De Ridder expressed the joy of Christians praying together as “we are the Body of Christ with a common mission.”

He said, “We often argue about words, but words are only doors or windows to open and enter into that space, that immensity, which is the life of Christ.” He urged his audience to learn from each other, dialogue, and cooperate “for the common good of the world.” “People will recognise that you are my disciples if you love one another,” he echoed Christ.

After the celebration of the Word, Father Albert Renckens, who is coordinator of the prayer service, invited all present to fellowship in the church hall. There, Pastor David Cheah from the Yishun Lutheran Church expressed a general sentiment when he said, “It was a good experience to get to know many other Christians and that we can come together and worship together.”

Major P. Kunam, ordained pastor from the Salvation Army, was grateful to be part of the celebration. “I’m very happy and joyful to participate and see the unity of the churches.” Methodist Pastor Derrick Lau said it was “a great privilege to host this event” and “a joy to see so many people of different traditions and denominations affirm our unity as Christians.”

To the delight of the many Catholics present, eight Catholic priests were there. Father Damian De Wind explained that “as more and more marriages have partners from another denomination, it is important to bring about an awareness that we are working together in the spirit of ecumenism.”

“We must be encouraged to look at our strong common points rather than just criticising each other,” he added.

Curiosity brought Anthony Vaz, from Our Lady of Lourdes, to the prayer service. “I’ve never been to a Protestant church before and I wanted to see the different types of Christian leaders come to worship together and what the worship was going to be like.”

Joseph Kirk, a prayer intercessor at Toa Payoh Methodist, found the evening “very meaningful.”

Daphne Wang, a parishioner of Holy Family who studies the Bible in an ecumenical group, was inspired to bring her experience home. “We can do this on a parish level and even in our own homes, among friends, to promote our unity, focusing on what unites us than what divides us.”

Msgr Eugene Vaz said, “It’s important to come together and pray. Prayer will lead to working together. I hope it leads to something deeper, some common outreach.” One common outreach resulting from that evening was a collection for the flood and earthquake victims of Pakistan.

fruitful

2006-02-23T05:44:00.000+08:00

genesis 41:52
"... God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."

joseph is perhaps my favourite bible character. even more so now that i can identify with the trails and tribulations he experienced, and i have also been richly blessed with the twist at the end of the story.

i am at the beginning of new chapter in this new country, stay tuned.

i've been picking up momentum with your daily walk. and i don't try to make up for loss time when i am "behind schedule" because my objective is to just to keep pace, but to have quality time reflecting and praying.

whichever the case, i am confident of going through this book by the time i return, which also means i would have gone though the entire bible.

is grandma going to hell?

2006-01-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

the following article is taken from graceatwork.org, written by tan soo inn.
search archive - title - is grandma going to hell

Earlier in the year I was helping to share the gospel with someone who in many ways was very interested in the Christian faith. The main thing that held her back was this: She really loved her mother who was a practising Buddhist. To embrace Christianity was to embrace a truth system that taught that those who died apart from Christ would end up in hell. It was a reality too painful to imagine and so she held back.

I admired her response for a number of reasons. I admired her love for her mother. How could we fault that? And I admired the fact that she didn't opt for some post modern solution about different faiths and different heavens for different people. But what about hell?

Hell� is one of those aspects of the Christian faith that we sometimes wish wasn't there. But there it is, clearly taught in the bible. First we are told that the primary anti God being will be sent there as part of his eternal judgement.

And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulphur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.� [Revelation 20:10 TNIV]

Then we are told that all those whose names were not in the Book of Life, all those who had rejected Christ were sent there too.

The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and everyone was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. All whose names were not found written in the book of life were thrown into the lake of fire.� [Revelation 20: 13-15 TNIV]

It would appear that hell is a hot place. But elsewhere it is described as a place of teeth chattering cold.

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, "Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.� [Matthew 8:10-12 TNIV]

Is hell a hot smelly place or a cold dark place? Clearly metaphorical language is at play but the metaphors point to a reality. Hell is a place you don't want to be. It is a place for people who choose not to have a loving relationship with God. And it kills us to think that our loved ones are there. Especially people who have lived moral and caring lives but have rejected Jesus.

What do we say to people who struggle with this issue?

First off, I will say that God has not told me everything about everything. He has told me what He in His wisdom thinks I need to know. There are many things I would like to know. For example what happens to those who never had a chance to hear about Jesus? I guess that would include the Jews who lived before Christ. But He has not committed Himself to satisfy my curiosity. God has told me enough to know how to have a loving relationship with Him, and how to live my life. But there are many things He hasn't told me.

I do know that people are lost apart from God and that my duty as part of God's community is to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and seek, in His strength, to make disciples of all people. With the data available in the bible I can make theological constructs to help answer some of the questions that the bible does not address directly. But no, I have not been given the full details on many issues.

What I do know is that it is not my job to speculate as to who goes where in regards to their eternal fate. I am far from being wise enough to make such judgement calls. And I do not have access to all the pertinent facts even if I am wise enough which I am not. For example I do not know what transpires between a man and God at the moment of his death. At most I can say is, from what we can see, this person did not accept Christ in his life time.

I am not here trying to offer false hope. All I am saying is that God retains the role of ultimate judge as to who goes where. And only He is qualified to do so. Therefore I really do not know for sure where ma or grandma has gone. I can only report as to what I saw in this person's lifetime that is accessible to me. My job is not to speculate about the ultimate fate of people. My job is to share the gospel.

I also see from Scripture that there is an element of personal choice involved as to where people end up.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. All those who do evil hate the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But those who live by the truth come into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.� [John 3: 19-21 TNIV]

I can't see a situation where there are people who want very much to be in heaven, to be in communion with God and other God lovers, forced to go to hell. Neither can I see those who do not want a living loving relationship with God forced to go to heaven. There are enough hints in Scripture that in the end God respects our trajectories and confirms our desires.

Just don't ask me how all this squares with the doctrine of election exactly. Like I said I don't think God has told us everything about everything. Therefore I must learn to live with certain tensions in theology while focusing on what is crystal clear.

In the end, I ask myself, do I trust God enough to believe He will do the right thing whatever that right thing may be? How big is my God? As Abraham asks of God: �Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?" [Genesis 18:25b] Of all that I know of God, my answer is �yes He will.�

In other words I may not know what He will do and why but I know that God is a God of all holiness, all love and all wisdom and that He does not make mistakes. I, on the other hand, often do.

So will grandma go to the hell? I honestly don't know. And if she does, somehow it will be the most holy and the most loving thing to do. I trust God enough to know that he does not make mistakes.

Will my struggles to understand hell satisfy everyone? Of course not. But what I can't do is water down the faith and make a Christianity that fits my comfort zone. I can accept Christianity or I can reject it. But what I can't do is make it what it is not.

I recently received an email from the person I helped share the gospel with earlier in the year. She said that she has decided to follow Christ and is going for water baptism.

What about her Buddhist mum? She said she came to a point where she believed God is big enough to entrust with the fate of her mum. She is right and I am glad. Very glad.

Your brother, Soo-Inn Tan

12 December 2006

my spiritual story - part 4

2006-01-08T16:53:00.000+08:00

I was still not actively serving in any ministry at Church. I would have been even more lost if not for my small group that I find myself accountable to. A year ago, we covenanted for each of us to go for a mission trip.

I responded to the church bulletin for volunteers to a come on board the Children’s Ministry Mission trip to Cambodia. My predominate role was to paint murals. During our pre-trip preparation, Pastor Wendy Watson came to pray for us and speak about the spiritual dimension of a mission trip – we are effectively engaging in spiritual warfare by challenging locational satanic authority.

I mentioned the encounter I had in school with the graffiti with regards to locational satanic authority in my own neighborhood. And this was when she spoke a word for me. Pastor Wendy Watson said that when my prayers were answered over the vandalism, God was reclaiming that location back. And in the same way, my mural paintings in Cambodia would be my personal spiritual act of worship that would consecrate the wall and pave the way for God to reclaim the location.

My specific role in the mission team – mere coincidence or answered prayer?

As I reflect upon the map of the faithfulness of God during this silent retreat, I can see that God is actively working in my life and through my life. And I can pretty sure that my formative spiritual years are just a preview for even greater things to come.

As we explore our spiritual giftings tomorrow, I shall reflect deeper into mine – Craftsmanship: the divine enablement to creatively design and construct items to be used for ministry.

my spiritual story - part 3

2006-01-08T16:51:00.000+08:00

I didn’t start of as a naturally gifted teacher, the students were difficult and not much younger than I was – they were 15 and I was 18. But for some reason, I gained much favor from the teaching staff. The vice-principal even took time off to write a referral testimony for my admission into teacher training.

It was from this point that I had an inkling that I was where God wanted me to be. My teacher training experience was fabulously enjoyable. I completed assignments without much difficulty and got along very well with my peers and professors.

The testing of my faith came again during posting. Against all human efforts, I was posted back to the same primary school where I did my teaching practicum – which was hellish. To make things more devastating, I was not offered a place in the degree programme albeit my consistently good grades – a situation that I blame my practicum school.

This was a time where faith in God seemed misplaced. The first 6 months were so difficult, I even broke down during a meeting once. What plans could God possibly have for a place like this?

Things got better as I gained experience and expertise. I was also given opportunities to dabble in art projects and backdrop designing – opportunities that honed my artistic inclinations (and future plans). The sea change in management and principal created a paradigm shift in the school atmosphere and physical environment – an atmosphere and environment that I thrived in. Work became enjoyable and little of a chore. While I hear my contemporaries complain bitterly about their school, I sing praises about mine. This God-forsaken place wasn’t so God-forsaken after all, not just for me, but for the entire community that was in the lower rung of societal stratification. The new principal was a Christian, she has been managing the school prayerfully, and my Christian colleagues and I could sense God’s hand at work.

At the end of the year, I was voted to win with the Outstanding Contributed Award in the Individual Category. This little triumph is a personal indication to me that God had equipped me and seen me through the trials he placed in my path. He has enabled me and my contribution has blessed others.

One day, I noticed a huge satanic graffiti splashed on a wall located in front of the side gate of my school. It measured approximately 3 to 4 metre square. As expected, no one took much notice of it and took it to be “just another act of vandalism.” It disturbed me. As it is, the school belonged to a poor and broken neighborhood, close to destitution. There was an oppressing spirit of failure and aimlessness. During Pastor Wendy Watson’s sermon about spiritual forces and the Christian’s legitimate authority in prayer, I prayed that God would “do something about the graffiti.” By the next working day, the satanic symbol was painted over.

Mere coincidence or answered prayer?

my spiritual story - part 2

2006-01-08T16:50:00.000+08:00

My knowledge of doctrine increased after each church camp and bible study session. But my faith in God grew only when I was put in situations that needed me to trust Him. It started from little things like leading a worship session and organizing church camps, to bigger issues like career directions.

I stagnated in my spiritual walk with God when I stopped serving in church in my older teenage years till my early twenties. There was no crisis to speak of, and therefore no catalyst for any growth in my faith.

I started seeing God’s hand in my life again in my pre-service years and as a full-fledged teacher.

Teaching was never an ambition, it was a useful stepping stone for academic enhancement since my full ‘A’ Level certificate did not gain me entry into the local universities. I was listless and frustrated my poor grades – I actually tried my best. It was usual for 18 year old girls like me to temp around after the ‘A’s. I heard from a friend relief teaching was lucrative. So I casually prayed for an opening in a secondary school for a long term relief teaching post to teach specifically History and English for the next few months. I submitted my name to my alma mater and didn’t give much thought about it.

A few days later, I received news that the vice-principal from a Secondary School was desperately trying to contact me. When I returned her call, I found to my amazement that she was requesting me to fill in a relief teaching post to cover History and English for the next few months. This was against the order of bureaucracy because vice-principals and the like do not personally source for relief teachers. I found out later that the vice-principal of this Secondary School was a former teacher at my alma mater and obtained my name and contact from the list of “relief teachers-in-waiting”.

Mere coincidence of answered prayer?

my spiritual story - part 1

2006-01-08T16:48:00.000+08:00

Christian discipleship is making a map of the faithfulness of God, not charting the rise and falls of our enthusiasm.

Eugene Peterson

I was born in a Methodist family, enrolled in a Methodist school for a good 10 years of my formative years (not counting 2 years at a Bible-Presbyterian kindergarten) and I attended Sunday School as the next natural thing to do.

I was familiar with doctrinal concepts and accepted Christ formally whenever there was an alter call at the end of a church camp or at the closure of chapel. It was later in life that I learnt that accepting Christ was like a spiritual wedding ceremony - it was during the marriage life that growth took place.

I wouldn’t say that I was coerced into “becoming a Christian” - even when as little children we were to repeat line by line what the Sunday School teacher prayed. at the age of 8 I personally called upon God and he answered me.

I had misplaced the remote control of the only television set at home. Everyone was getting annoyed at me. I searched everywhere but it could not be found. So one day I decided to pray the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) of prayer to “give prayer a try”. This prayer took place when I was taking a shower. The moment I uttered, “and God, please help me find the remote control..”, my sister yelled from the living room, “the remote control is in your sticker box!”

Mere coincidence or answered prayer?

silent retreat

2006-01-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

the small group retreat i attended over the weekend included 5 hours of silent meditation as part of our programme.

from the time of sharing we had after the 5 hours, i gathered that everyone went home with something personal and spiritually enriching.

for me, it was a good idea to set time aside to meditate. and meditate here does not mean sitting arms akimbo "om-ing". we had a proper facilitation session to be briefed on what christian medition means. we were also given 2 main things to think about; our spiritual story and psalms 139.

i always thought that i would learn only from interactive discussions. the 5 hours was not difficult because i am in a habit of reflecting and consolidating my thoughts. it wasn't a sensational experience for me, but it does not mean that it wasn't benefitial.

1) it allocated me time to recount my spiritual story which i took a good 2 hours to compose. (which i will post in 4 parts).

2) i was reminded that christians do not have to sensationalize every devotional session. God does everything for a specific reason and will not abitrarily provide spiritual highs for the sake of it. on the other hand, we need to be certain that every prayer we utter and every bible verse we read makes a difference in the spiritual realm and has eternal value, even if it is not evident now.

thoughts on silence
(adapted from wesley methodist church, small group leader's retreat-me & my boat by alfred quah)

in silence i don't have to discuss, defend and debate. instead, i can better pay attention to inner ones.

silence means those who are verbal and dominate conversations are now equal as the shy.

silence teaches me to wait - pray rather than talk - to turn to the Father first rather than last.

silence makes me look and listen, see and smell - to pay attention to what is going on around me, rather than thinking of what next to say, where next to be, what next to do.

silence imparts reverence and peacefulness. it is infectious - our tranquility reaches out and comforts in ways that words do not.

writing on the wall

2006-01-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

not for nothing did the Nazi light up the night skies in their cities with the burning of books. not for nothing were free white folk in America prohibited from teaching slaves to read, and slaves in South Carolina threatened with the loss of the first joint of their forefingers if they were caught looking at a book; books became the greatest purveyors of truth, and the truth shall set you free.

anna quindlen
how reading changed my life

there is an invigorating, life-giving element in writing and words. It sharpens the mind, refines the intellect, educates the soul, convinces, convicts, condemns and moves humanity.

i believe that words - as mankind knows it - hold a supernatural quality that enables its empowerment. this transformative, liberating and immortal quality of words was breathed by God himself.

verbatim, the ten commandments were engraved. in writing the destruction of babylon was pronounced. with words, light came into the world and finally, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

from this perspective, the Bible - God's Word - would have for me a new reverent awe.

getting high

2006-01-03T15:00:00.000+08:00

as the facilitator of the gathering got us to reflect and chart the highs and lows in our life and spiritual life, i found myself pondering over how highs are perceived and misunderstood in our modern life overloaded with information and entertainment.

to quote nick hornby in high fidelity, "maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content; we have to be unhappy or ecstatically head-over-heels happy."

perhaps the modern and post-modern man are junkies seeking thrills and larger and larger amounts in order to achieve the temporal high, to disguise a deep seated lonliness and emptiness.

just boredom? or maybe there's something more to it.

so the counter action to this phenomenon is the new-age moment collectively fashionable as zen, meditation & solitute, where people are encouraged to declutter & detox.

i encourage decluttering our physical, mental and spiritual lives not in the manner that zen advocates, but rather (from a christian bias view that) meditation should be on God and the word of God. how is that done? this post does not seek to address the how.

this rather is the crux of the post - that even christian spiritual activies can be cluttered and sensationalized, so much so that some church-going people immerse themselves with "christian thrills" in larger and larger quantities in order to achieve a "spiritual high".

so as we chart out highs and lows of the year, especially in the spiritual context, be on your guard to avoid searching for "the next big thing" in a secular manner in your walk with God.

this leads on to another issue, how then can we avoid seeking sensations and at the same time avoid stagnating in our spiritual lives?

being still before God is not a passive endeavour, in fact it takes more effort. it is also to have the peaceful assurance and serene faith whenever we face a crisis of belief. i think this is the real test of your spiritual walk as well as opportunities of its growth - how we react in times of trouble.

and i'll go out on a limb to say that the thrill seeking junkies will face their day of reckoning on the day of crisis.

blessed new year

2006-01-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

i received this book as a christmas present. going through the book daily is one of my resolutions for the new year. i've never read the entire bible from the cover to cover before, i've tried, but gave up after noah's ark. although reading through the bible using a guide like this would involve more words, but it also makes the passage of the day more enlightening and informative.

i'm three days behind schedule already, hope to catch up by the end of this week.

crisis adverted

2005-12-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

crisis adverted. scatter-brainlessly, my mom used the cheque and the notice that was attached to it as rough paper to scribbe something for my sis. she still blames me for not placing the document directly into her handbag.

does something that seems this abitrary also happen for a reason? i think so, crisis brings out the worst and best in people.

also, the geek is experiencing a similiar crisis, hope this brings to him a new perspective.

providence

2005-12-05T16:54:00.000+08:00

how do you react with crisis strikes?
i have come to define crisis as the sudden lack of control.

the cheque that the bank has issued to me as the maturity of a 5 year savings scheme has yet to be found. my mom misplaced it.

worst case scenario - my 5 years of savings is lost. the money is supposed to be used for expenses in melbourne.

what then?

there are other ways of looking at it. it is just money, a large sum no less, but its not like i lost a limb in a motor accident. what is this amount of money to God? is the value of my life and its direction pegged on the numerals on the cheque? i don't think so.

on the other side of the coin - do i not feel a pinch in the least? i was definitely annoyed when my mom called to ask me where the cheque was.

a while ago when i was thinking about my expenses in melbourne, i contemplated to cease tithing to my friend in full time ministy, (i tithe to her work in place of contributing to the offering bag in church) after all, don't i need the money for myself? $50 is giro-ed monthly to her bank account, that amounts to $1200 over 2 years. i could always set aside my year end bonus to this cause. and besides, i count this luxury of studying overseas a blessing, so i do not have a reason to stop blessing others.

however, God provided for this tithing - i was given $1000 for being voted the recipient for the individual outstanding contribution award. i can view this award as hard earned money which i am rightfully entitled to, or can i chose to view it as God's providence for the specific purpose.

honestly, i feel that i have already made it in life. the assurance i have in God, the confidence i have in daily living, the value system imbued in me are my yard sticks of success. anything i do henceforth are retirement pet projects.

an even worst case scenario - my plans for overseas studies has to be shelved because i have no budget for it.

so be it.

anxiety

2005-11-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

i do not know events will unfold, but i do believe that God is in control even when we're not.